Friday, August 29, 2014

What Do Christian Men Desire in a Wife?

Many women have thought about this question, "What do Christian Men Desire in a Wife?" and yet many go to their girlfriends seeking advice about how to be a woman that would attract a Christian man.  Well, although your girlfriends can give you some advice, they are not men.  They do not know what men really want.  I've had the privilege of asking two saved young men to tell me what they desire in their future wife. Their real names will not be revealed for privacy reasons. I asked both of them to give me five qualities that they desire in their future wives. Below are their responses.

Marcus, 25

1. Physically Attractive. First and foremost, she would have have to be physically attractive. I obviously would not be pursuing her if I am not physically attracted to her.

2.Godly. Secondly, I would desire that she has a heart for the things of God, meaning she would have to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. It would not work for me to have a wife that is not godly, let alone spiritual. This is knowing that what God has called me to be which is being that of a preacher of the Gospel, I would need a woman who is as much on fire for God as I am.

3. Mature. Next, I would desire to have a wife who is understanding and not necessarily always on the defensive. So with that, obviously her being mature in her actions would be a major quality that I would desire to see at work and quite evident in my future wife.

4. Athletic. Fourthly, I would love to have a wife who is athletic, but not so to the point that she forgets to be feminine and lady-like. I personally run eight miles every other day and also I love to play tennis. So to have a wife that wouldn't mind joining me in a run, every now and then, and also to be able to play her in a tennis match and let her win, not, lol that would be ideal for me.

5. Culturally Aware. Last but definitely not least, to have a wife who is open to good, wholesome diverse experiences and even diverse environments would be what I look for. Sure we all are more comfortable in most cases, when we are around our own race, but I am not one to be so "stuck" on events or outings norm to my race. I love diversity whether it's in my worship experience, my choice of restaurant or even events. I believe it broadens one's worldview and makes for allowing for understanding of other cultures to be brought about.  Now, of course, I'm not going to go to the extreme so to the point that I'm doing things that would be displeasing to God. For it's all things in moderation and careful consideration.

David, 26

1. Honesty. Honesty should be a given simply because if she is a "Christian Woman" then her daily conversation should exude and exhibit complete honesty at all times. Honesty can be also looked at as trust. Is she trustworthy just as Jesus would be?

2. Confident. I believe a woman should always be self-confident, not condescending but confident in her ability as a woman to be a woman and a help-meet to her husband. Nothing is worse than a woman who constantly needs validation from others when she should have validation from the Father and herself alone.

3. Approachable. A lot of woman today are not approachable. Can I talk to my Christian wife about anything? I believe I should. Also, when a man is trying to approach you, do you even give him an idea that an approach will be invited by you?

4. Not Loud and Clamorous. Honestly, I can't see a woman truly being a Christian if she is loud and clamorous. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3: 3-4 "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel. But let it be of the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and QUIET spirit." Also look at Proverbs 25:24; 27:15; and 21:9. Loud and obnoxious women may be a turn on for a foolish man but not for a true and godly living and Christ believing man!!

5. Godly. Last and certainly not least she must possess the godly character that she claims to be . At the end of the day she must be godly, not a churchgoer, not a choir singer, but a godly living individual. Her life should be as close as possible to the life that Christ demands for all of his children. This godly woman will believe what the Word says even if it shames her and she will place the Word of God as her guide for her everyday living. Her life is not made worthwhile because she has a man, but because she has God!!

From the responses, one characteristic that they both desired in a wife is a woman who is godly.  These young men do no know each other and have never met but they chose to use the word "godly" which to me says something.  Many Christian women claim that they are saved, but they are not godly. The Greek word for godly is eusebeia which means one who is devout and it "denotes that piety which, characterized by a Godward attitude, does that which is well-pleasing to Him" ("Godly").

In summary, what are you doing to become more of a godly woman? Are you reading the word like you should and applying it to your life.  Are you seeking God with all of your heart? I encourage you to be a better woman for God not because that's what a Christian man wants. You should become a better woman of God because that's what the word of God wants from us. Then if it's God's will, the right person will come along and will be attracted to that godly character in you.


"Godly" W.E. Vine's M.A., Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words. 27 Aug. 2014.

1 comment :

  1. Hello Saved and Single, both of the Brethren made good points, but remember she has desires too. All that you two have stated she can say the same also but directing it in the man version, look brothers both of you have some more growing not faulting you at all. But women bodies changes after we have your children, as we age, and growing together we will be different. We are not just Arm Candy to brag about, but once you ask God for your wife He will give you your hearts desire. Word says A MAN THAT FINDETH A WIFE FINDETH A GOOD THING. Plus you want her to Fear the Lord. Brothers you have a responsibility once you take on that wife and start your family then the real work begins. Both of you grow together, yes you have on your mind what you would prefer, but we are Saved, we are in the world but not of the world and what pleases the flesh. Our focus is God and what pleases Him. God bless you all in your hearts desire. PEACE