4 Reasons Why Being in a Relationship With An Unbeliever Is Not a Good Idea

      

Diogo Figueira

Many Christians have probably found themselves in relationships with men or women or considered being in relationships with these individuals who are not saved.   They may have had thoughts like, “Oh I can change him” or “With time, he’ll see my love for Christ and eventually get saved.” How do I know this? I know this because I have been there myself. We use these thoughts to justify what we are doing. There are 4 reasons why you should not pursue a relationship with a man or woman that is not saved. 

1. The number one reason why you should not pursue a relationship with someone who is not saved is because the Bible says so! In 2 Corinthians 6:14, it says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”. The Greek word for yoke is zugos which is translated to mean “serving to couple two things together” (“Yoke”). When you are in a relationship with someone, you have become a couple.  “Unequally yoked with unbelievers” now means you have been yoked up or coupled up with someone who is not a believer.  Some people may say well she “believes” in God but she hasn’t given her life over to Christ.  This person is not a believer.  The word “believe” means to “to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.”(“Believe”) For example, if you “believe” that a chair is going to hold you, you will sit on the chair. It’s the same way in the spiritual world.  If you really believe in Jesus Christ, you will give your life over to Him and follow His word. Believing in something produces action.  
2. He or She is most likely going to want to have premarital sex with you.  Do you really want to put yourself in a situation where you will feel tempted to compromise what you believe? For me, when I meet a guy, I ask him in our initial conversations about how he feels about having sex before marriage. If he says that he thinks it’s okay, then I tell him, “I think you are a good person, but I don’t see this friendship or relationship going anywhere” . Yes this is one of the first things we talk about because I’m not going to waste my time with someone who doesn’t believe the same thing that I do.  It may sound harsh, but this is what works for me. Ladies and gentlemen, if you know that the person that you care about is sexually active, it is very wise for you not to be in a relationship with him or her. 
3.  “I can change him/her” is one of the biggest lies that Satan will try to convince you of.  You CANNOT change anyone if that person doesn’t want to be changed.  If they are happy in their sins, THEY WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU.  The person may start going to church with you more or they may stop cursing, but if they haven’t given their life over to God then it doesn’t matter. Be careful with people who appear to do these things because if you decide to marry them, it MAY not last. They may be doing this just to get with you. Yes, people can change, but if you go into a marriage believing that they will become saved, you are taking a big chance. Why take that chance?
4. They will only hinder your spiritual growth. When you want to go to church, they may want to go to the club. When you want to do Bible Study together, they may want to go to the movies. (Side note: I don’t see anything wrong with going to the movies, but this person will try to put off doing the things of God to do something else).  Before you know it, you may be finding yourself going places and doing things that you may not normally do. Why? It’s because you have all of these ungodly influences pulling you away from your path with God.                                                                                                                                                               At the end of the day, it’s not enough if he or she goes to church. It’s not enough if he or she leads the devotion services at church.  It’s not enough if he or she is making a six figure salary every year. It’s not enough if he or she loves children like you. It’s not enough if he or she has an amazing body. It’s not enough if he or she has the same interests like you. All of this is not enough if they are not saved and truly living according to God’s word. When life’s challenges come your way in your marriage and it will, their six-figure salary will not encourage you.  You are going to need someone who knows how to PRAY during difficult times.  This person will need to be there to encourage you spiritually.  It’s nothing wrong with desiring the six figure salary or amazing body, but make sure that this person is saved and is bearing the fruits of the spirit.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         
   In conclusion, desire someone who is going to uplift you spiritually.  The Lord is wiser than us and He knows that marriage is hard, but if you are unequally yoked, it will be MUCH harder.   Therefore, follow His way and you will be blessed.   
   
   References
   
   “Yoke”. W.E. Vine's M.A., Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words. 04 Aug. 2014. http://www.menfak.no/bibelprog/vines.pl?word=yoke
   
   "Believe." Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 04 Aug. 2014. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/believe>.
   
   
   

   
   

   
                                                                                                                                              
   Your Sister in Christ,