What Do Christian Men Desire in a Wife?

Sattva

Many women have thought about this question, "What do Christian Men Desire in a Wife?" and yet many go to their girlfriends seeking advice about how to be a woman that would attract a Christian man.  Well, although your girlfriends can give you some advice, they are not men.  They do not know what men really want.  I've had the privilege of asking two saved young men to tell me what they desire in their future wife. Their real names will not be revealed for privacy reasons. I asked both of them to give me five qualities that they desire in their future wives. Below are their responses.

Marcus, 25

1. Physically Attractive. First and foremost, she would have have to be physically attractive. I obviously would not be pursuing her if I am not physically attracted to her.

2.Godly. Secondly, I would desire that she has a heart for the things of God, meaning she would have to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. It would not work for me to have a wife that is not godly, let alone spiritual. This is knowing that what God has called me to be which is being that of a preacher of the Gospel, I would need a woman who is as much on fire for God as I am.

3. Mature. Next, I would desire to have a wife who is understanding and not necessarily always on the defensive. So with that, obviously her being mature in her actions would be a major quality that I would desire to see at work and quite evident in my future wife.

4. Athletic. Fourthly, I would love to have a wife who is athletic, but not so to the point that she forgets to be feminine and lady-like. I personally run eight miles every other day and also I love to play tennis. So to have a wife that wouldn't mind joining me in a run, every now and then, and also to be able to play her in a tennis match and let her win, not, lol that would be ideal for me.

5. Culturally Aware. Last but definitely not least, to have a wife who is open to good, wholesome diverse experiences and even diverse environments would be what I look for. Sure we all are more comfortable in most cases, when we are around our own race, but I am not one to be so "stuck" on events or outings norm to my race. I love diversity whether it's in my worship experience, my choice of restaurant or even events. I believe it broadens one's worldview and makes for allowing for understanding of other cultures to be brought about.  Now, of course, I'm not going to go to the extreme so to the point that I'm doing things that would be displeasing to God. For it's all things in moderation and careful consideration.

David, 26

1. Honesty. Honesty should be a given simply because if she is a "Christian Woman" then her daily conversation should exude and exhibit complete honesty at all times. Honesty can be also looked at as trust. Is she trustworthy just as Jesus would be?

2. Confident. I believe a woman should always be self-confident, not condescending but confident in her ability as a woman to be a woman and a help-meet to her husband. Nothing is worse than a woman who constantly needs validation from others when she should have validation from the Father and herself alone.

3. Approachable. A lot of woman today are not approachable. Can I talk to my Christian wife about anything? I believe I should. Also, when a man is trying to approach you, do you even give him an idea that an approach will be invited by you?

4. Not Loud and Clamorous. Honestly, I can't see a woman truly being a Christian if she is loud and clamorous. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3: 3-4 "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel. But let it be of the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and QUIET spirit." Also look at Proverbs 25:24; 27:15; and 21:9. Loud and obnoxious women may be a turn on for a foolish man but not for a true and godly living and Christ believing man!!

5. Godly. Last and certainly not least she must possess the godly character that she claims to be . At the end of the day she must be godly, not a churchgoer, not a choir singer, but a godly living individual. Her life should be as close as possible to the life that Christ demands for all of his children. This godly woman will believe what the Word says even if it shames her and she will place the Word of God as her guide for her everyday living. Her life is not made worthwhile because she has a man, but because she has God!!

From the responses, one characteristic that they both desired in a wife is a woman who is godly.  These young men do no know each other and have never met but they chose to use the word "godly" which to me says something.  Many Christian women claim that they are saved, but they are not godly. The Greek word for godly is eusebeia which means one who is devout and it "denotes that piety which, characterized by a Godward attitude, does that which is well-pleasing to Him" ("Godly").

In summary, what are you doing to become more of a godly woman? Are you reading the word like you should and applying it to your life.  Are you seeking God with all of your heart? I encourage you to be a better woman for God not because that's what a Christian man wants. You should become a better woman of God because that's what the word of God wants from us. Then if it's God's will, the right person will come along and will be attracted to that godly character in you.

References

"Godly" W.E. Vine's M.A., Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words. 27 Aug. 2014. http://www.menfak.no/bibelprog/vines.pl?word=godly

Samson and Delilah: Lessons From An Unequally Yoked Relationship

Since I've had a large amount of positive reviews on my recent article, " 4 Reasons Why Being In A Relationship With An Unbeliever Is Not A Good Idea", it prompted me to write about Samson and Delilah and the effects of an unequally yoked relationship. Many of the stories in the Bible are lessons that we can apply to our daily lives. They are warnings that will help us realize that when we go outside of the will of God, we will encounter adverse consequences.

Before I begin with the story of Samson and Delilah, it is imperative that I discuss who Samson was. Before Samson was born, he was chosen to be a Nazarite. A Nazarite is someone who was called "holy unto the Lord" (Numbers 6:8). This person could not take wine or anything made from grapes; he may not cut the hair of his head and he may not touch the dead (Jewish Encyclopedia.com). Today, Christians are called to be holy. The Bible says in 1 Peter 1:15, "Be ye holy for I am holy". This is why we cannot do whatever we want and date whomever we want. We are called to be separate from the world.

From my readings of Samson, I discovered that this young man had an issue with the spirit of lust. Before he met Delilah, it says in Judges 16:1, "Then went Samson to Gaza and saw there an harlot and went in unto her." His lust began in his eyes which led him to sleep with her. This young man was called to be a Nazarite, but he gave into his lusts. For a man to sleep with a prostitute denotes that he had a big problem with controlling his flesh.  Many of us blame Delilah for Samson's downfall; however, if Samson would have dealt with his inner struggles, I really believe he wouldn't have fallen for Delilah. Many of us know the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. Joseph didn't yield to his flesh when Potiphar's wife asked him to have sex with her. Although she asked Joseph multiple times to sleep with her, he refused to give in to her request.

In Judges 16:4 is where we are first introduced to Delilah. Delilah was a Philistine woman who Samson was deeply in love with. The Israelites were not allowed to intermingle with people of a different faith, but Samson clearly ignored what God said about being unequally yoked. Samson failed to guard his heart and this caused him to fall in love with Delilah. When we fail to guard our heart, we will find ourselves hurt and miserable.

Samson was so blinded by love that even when Delilah tried to seduce him into telling her where his strength was, he just ignored her conniving ways. When people are in an unequally yoked relationship, they sometimes ignore the obvious. The signs that the relationship will not work is right there before them, but they ignore the signs. Later, if the individuals decide to marry each other, the saved spouse might say I didn't know this person was so incompatible and then they are stuck in a miserable marriage that God never intended for them to be in.

In the end, Samson finally gave in to Delilah and told her where his strength came from which was his hair. Samson had this special strength from God, but when he cut his hair, the Lord left him. Because of Samson's disobedience, he lost his strength, became blind, and eventually had a premature death.

Let us not put ourselves in the same situation as Samson. Let go of that person who is going to be a hindrance to us spiritually. I know this may be a very hard task to do, but it's something that needs to be done. I think it would be fair to have a conversation with the person before ending the relationship. The proper thing to do is sit down with the individual, explain that you feel this relationship is against God's word, and end the relationship. If you feel that you are in too deep with this person, you may have to make some radical changes. If that means deleting this person's phone number from your phone, then do it. If the person is on your job, you may have to find another job somewhere else. Most of all be prayerful about the situation and God will work it out.

In conclusion, there's one thing that I have learned about being attracted to someone. Just because you are attracted to someone does not mean you should be in a relationship with that person. I don't care how attractive this individual is, walk away if you know they are not going to be beneficial to your spiritual growth. You may have to run  :)


References

"Nazarite." JewishEncyclopedia.com.19 Aug 2014. http://jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/11395-nazarite


Your Sister in Christ,

Feelings of Unworthiness: Too Messed Up to Be Saved?

David Castillo Dominici, 

Have you ever felt that you were too unworthy or too sinful to give your life over to Christ? Or have you felt that even though you are saved you made some big mistakes along the way that makes you feel unworthy?  Well, guess what? There is no sin too big that God will not forgive.  I've heard people say that God does not want anything to do with them because they feel they are too messed up.  THAT IS NOT TRUE!!  Let's read what the Bible says about this.

 "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

While we were sinners, Christ thought about us and loved us enough to die on a cross. Yes, He knew that when we were born into this world that we would sin. Are you still not convinced? Paul before he was converted was a persecutor of the Christians.  He also approved of Stephen's death, a follower of Jesus Christ.   Paul was ruthless when it came to the Christians during his day.Yet, after he heard from the Lord, he then became converted to Christianity.

If you want to read more, read Acts 7-9. God turned a murderer into an apostle.  This is what my God can do.  Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15, "This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief." He felt that he was chief among sinners because of his past. It doesn't matter what you did or do, God can forgive you of all of your sins.

To anyone who battles with unworthiness because of mistakes, read 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". Also, if you read Romans 10:9, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Do not let the enemy tell you that you are unworthy of Christ's love and His plan of salvation. 

There is hope for you today.  Let Christ into your heart and you will never be the same. Once we become saved, we become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21). You will have a peace about you that is indescribable. Whatever I am telling is something that I have experienced for myself. The gift of salvation is free and it is not something that can be earned but given.The joy of the Lord becomes your strength whenever you go through perilous times with the aid of this precious gift.  If you desire to give your life over to Him, send me an email at jesussaveseva8@gmail.com and I would love to talk to you. 

Your Sister in Christ,

Book Review: Waiting For Morning by Karen Kingsbury

Waiting for Morning by Karen Kingsbury is a Christian fiction in which a young woman, Hannah Ryan, appears to have the perfect life in Los Angeles, California. She has a husband and two teenage daughters who all love her. On a Sunday evening, two police officers bring heart-wrenching news on her doorstep that would change her life forever.  As a result of this, she becomes very angry with God. She even states, “Couldn’t believe God was real…that he’d done nothing but watch as her family was ripped apart.” Throughout this book, I literally cried because it was so painful to see Hannah battle with grief.

When Christians experience grief or loss, they may question God about why He allowed this to happen to them. Hannah questions God about her loss and claims to stop believing in Him. Karen Kingsbury is an awesome Christian writer that makes her characters seem very authentic. Along the way, the author teaches us a few valuable lessons. Although we may undergo the roughest struggles in life, God is always there. He will never leave us nor forsake us. She also indicates that bad things do happen to good people. Hannah was a devoted Christian who served God with all of her heart but even she was susceptible to life's hardships. This is the first novel in the Forever Faithful Trilogy.  I would give this book an 8 out of 10 and I look forward to reading more of the Forever Faithful Trilogy.

If you are interested in purchasing this book, click Waiting for Morning (Forever Faithful, Book 1).


Your Sister in Christ,

God's Amazing Love

Marcelino Rapayla Jr.

I recently saw a quote that said, “God can love you more in a moment than all lovers in a lifetime”.  When I saw this, I was awestruck because although we know that God loves us, we need to be reminded of how much He loves us.   Many singles struggle with the feelings of loneliness and abandonment when they are not in a relationship with someone.  This quote reminds us that, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15: 13).  Even though we are single, we have the best type of love that anyone could ever have. It’s simply the love of Christ.  This is why it’s SO IMPORTANT for singles to understand that if you are not content with God’s love in your singleness then no love from anyone could ever be enough.   

We sometimes search for love and fulfillment in all the wrong places while neglecting that relationship with Christ.  Maybe you are single because God wants you to understand that no one can fill that void that is in your heart.  Once you become content with Him alone then He may bless you with that husband or wife that you desire.  When you become discouraged because you are single, be reminded of what the Bible says about God’s love. Here are some scriptures that may encourage you:

John 3:16-“ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Romans 5:8 - “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Ephesians 2:4-5 - “But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,  Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)”

2 Corinthians 5:21 -“For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.”

Isaiah 53:5 -“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”

I don’t know about you but when I read these particular scriptures I just fall in love with Jesus all over again.  Who do you know would endure harsh beatings and then die for you? I always tell myself when I get discouraged about life’s challenges, “He loves me and wants me to have the best in life. If He didn’t love me, then He wouldn’t have died for me”. Sometimes the enemy whispers discouraging things to you that “He forgot about you” and “He doesn’t care because if He did care, then you wouldn’t be going through what you are going through”. Well, combat him with scriptures that talks about His love for us.

In conclusion, although I listed some scriptures in this post about Christ's love, I challenge you to really delve down in the word of God and search for scriptures that will encourage you during this time.

Your Sister in Christ,

4 Reasons Why Being in a Relationship With An Unbeliever Is Not a Good Idea

      

Diogo Figueira

Many Christians have probably found themselves in relationships with men or women or considered being in relationships with these individuals who are not saved.   They may have had thoughts like, “Oh I can change him” or “With time, he’ll see my love for Christ and eventually get saved.” How do I know this? I know this because I have been there myself. We use these thoughts to justify what we are doing. There are 4 reasons why you should not pursue a relationship with a man or woman that is not saved. 

1. The number one reason why you should not pursue a relationship with someone who is not saved is because the Bible says so! In 2 Corinthians 6:14, it says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”. The Greek word for yoke is zugos which is translated to mean “serving to couple two things together” (“Yoke”). When you are in a relationship with someone, you have become a couple.  “Unequally yoked with unbelievers” now means you have been yoked up or coupled up with someone who is not a believer.  Some people may say well she “believes” in God but she hasn’t given her life over to Christ.  This person is not a believer.  The word “believe” means to “to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.”(“Believe”) For example, if you “believe” that a chair is going to hold you, you will sit on the chair. It’s the same way in the spiritual world.  If you really believe in Jesus Christ, you will give your life over to Him and follow His word. Believing in something produces action.  
2. He or She is most likely going to want to have premarital sex with you.  Do you really want to put yourself in a situation where you will feel tempted to compromise what you believe? For me, when I meet a guy, I ask him in our initial conversations about how he feels about having sex before marriage. If he says that he thinks it’s okay, then I tell him, “I think you are a good person, but I don’t see this friendship or relationship going anywhere” . Yes this is one of the first things we talk about because I’m not going to waste my time with someone who doesn’t believe the same thing that I do.  It may sound harsh, but this is what works for me. Ladies and gentlemen, if you know that the person that you care about is sexually active, it is very wise for you not to be in a relationship with him or her. 
3.  “I can change him/her” is one of the biggest lies that Satan will try to convince you of.  You CANNOT change anyone if that person doesn’t want to be changed.  If they are happy in their sins, THEY WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU.  The person may start going to church with you more or they may stop cursing, but if they haven’t given their life over to God then it doesn’t matter. Be careful with people who appear to do these things because if you decide to marry them, it MAY not last. They may be doing this just to get with you. Yes, people can change, but if you go into a marriage believing that they will become saved, you are taking a big chance. Why take that chance?
4. They will only hinder your spiritual growth. When you want to go to church, they may want to go to the club. When you want to do Bible Study together, they may want to go to the movies. (Side note: I don’t see anything wrong with going to the movies, but this person will try to put off doing the things of God to do something else).  Before you know it, you may be finding yourself going places and doing things that you may not normally do. Why? It’s because you have all of these ungodly influences pulling you away from your path with God.                                                                                                                                                               At the end of the day, it’s not enough if he or she goes to church. It’s not enough if he or she leads the devotion services at church.  It’s not enough if he or she is making a six figure salary every year. It’s not enough if he or she loves children like you. It’s not enough if he or she has an amazing body. It’s not enough if he or she has the same interests like you. All of this is not enough if they are not saved and truly living according to God’s word. When life’s challenges come your way in your marriage and it will, their six-figure salary will not encourage you.  You are going to need someone who knows how to PRAY during difficult times.  This person will need to be there to encourage you spiritually.  It’s nothing wrong with desiring the six figure salary or amazing body, but make sure that this person is saved and is bearing the fruits of the spirit.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         
   In conclusion, desire someone who is going to uplift you spiritually.  The Lord is wiser than us and He knows that marriage is hard, but if you are unequally yoked, it will be MUCH harder.   Therefore, follow His way and you will be blessed.   
   
   References
   
   “Yoke”. W.E. Vine's M.A., Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words. 04 Aug. 2014. http://www.menfak.no/bibelprog/vines.pl?word=yoke
   
   "Believe." Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 04 Aug. 2014. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/believe>.
   
   
   

   
   

   
                                                                                                                                              
   Your Sister in Christ,